Tuesday, 18 September 2012

                            Loneliness....Gestation of Self

      Yes sometimes it's a miracle in discovering your self 

 I was sitting on my couch sipping tea ..when a sudden thought crossed my mind....why people dread loneliness?...many of us have felt it and many of us have feared it at certain point/ stage of our livesbut then i think are these feelings really vulnerable....

I was born and brought up in a joint family with all my cousins similar or near my age. I don't remember a single day when i never enjoyed my childhood or adolescence. I remember the evening chitchatting with my sisters(total 6 including me)..the movies with them and even some arguments(which i most cherish)...getting decked up together for a party...those delighting downpours..wallowing success in skipping or a paper-pencil game(Name, Place,animal,Thing- this is what it was called then),and affection we shared..  

My college was equally well and pleasing...all the fun and frolic with my college friends...bunking classes(first thing i remember and relate with my college merriment)...  watching movies...window shopping with friends(shopping centre was on the opposite foot of my college). Life was rocking and i was at the pinnacle of my enthusiastic life. After my college all the enthusiasm was at halt. I was all idle, all alone ,no fervor. I used to think this is what all life was...there was nothing left (since all my Friends had enrolled for higher studies and i had no plans conceived for me).
 This is when it happened to me.... Sometimes there's a moment where you feel low.....frustrated...annoyed baffled...without any reason...and on top of that you don't have  an outlet to vent out these anxieties. Everything was hopeless and futile, but these feelings didn't break me down. It made me more stronger-emotionally , mentally,and circumstantially. Ideally our life is what we mould it into..if we are positive with it we are surely going to get positive response.This is what kept me going...the more the vulnerable situation was the more i was ready to face it with endurance and here i am improving strength to strength with each day as a learning lesson.

 For many people, the word lonely can conjure up an image of an isolated figure, dejected from life. Yet being alone is not the same as being lonely.There are plenty of loners who happily choose solitude as a way of life. Solitude has been helpful to a number of well-known writers, philosophers and composers.The concerns, hobbies and creative interests developed over a lifetime, can be an important source of stability and contentment for an individual. Some people need to be alone to allow these creativity to emerge and i am amongst those lucky ones to discover myself through awfully aching situation.
 So next time if you are lone don't brag about it,because there are people who are incessantly complaining about themselves being busy. If you think you don't match with an era of over-booked schedules, fast pace life of today....just chill. Imagine some relaxing scene or even the most delightful situation u relish , recalling the sounds and smells and your own delight.   Smile.Take the smile with you into your next moment. BINGO..there you are ..the New...the Fresh all ready to conquer with your REAL SELF.

Friday, 14 September 2012

                And I am Lucky to be blessed with one.......    

 *When we first met, i honestly had no idea that you would be so important to me*-yes this is what i felt and so does everyone who falls in love. Here i am not talking about some fairytale love story but an ordinary story that turned into love. People say that in arrange marriage love is a choice and not the feeling but i had culminated this feeling in my marriage.
 I was sitting in the temple premises, waiting in anticipation, a little nervous like any other girl (talking with my own self and fighting all the conflicting questions  signalled by my brain and heart). And then there was this sudden moment when i first saw him (no there was no background music fiddling for me). After all the formalities with our respected elders we were allowed to talk with ourselves. In an arranged marriage there is inevitable pressure from elders but i never approached him with a mindset to marry him or to hate him either.
I was pretending to be on a blind date and was just relaxed (though my heart was taking a roller-coaster ride inside). we had a small but very candid conversation. After discussing all the important issues depending on our preferences i was convinced that yes he's the right choice for me.
We had a courtship period of just two months (very soon in an arranged marriage). During these 2 months i never felt that the person i am marrying is a total stranger...he always made me feel "special"and if asked by anyone whether he 's doing love marriage or arrange his answer would be- Love marriage because he believed that he was in love with me on first sight(love here does not mean physicality but the compatibility we shared).Though we were distances apart there was special bond that made our relationship robust."If i was my Father's princess, he made me feel like his Queen".I was in the seventh heaven....I was and am in Love with him.
Now that i have completed 6 months(and shall complete many more decades together) of my marriage euphorically i can say what love is. It’s not just going to movie, beach, holding hands, etc. It’s more than that. It’s about affection. It’s about understanding. It’s about being honest. It's living, dynamic creature that changes, grows, and needs attention -- and you must nurture it. My husband has been great in taking  the lead in this.
I am not saying that these feelings do not exist in love marriages but those who are apprehensive about the success of arrange marriages what i can say is that do not hesitate or fret-  it is a wonderful thing ever happened on this earth. I am telling this from my own experience & people who are in love will also agree with me. Everybody should fall in love. Everybody has the right to fall in love.  
                       Hosh Valon Ko Khabar Kya, Zindagi Kya Cheez Hai
               Ishq Kije Phir SamajhiyeBekhudi Kya Cheez Hai